Hi Kate, my name is Cheri, and I am trying to reach Brenda and Warren Pfohl. My husband and I served in Poland with them a very long time ago. And my husband recently died, and I was wanting to let Warren and Brenda know that.
This was the message forwarded to me from Kate Houck at David’s Refuge from a friend we sadly lost touch with long ago. Our hearts were broken and crushed by the overwhelming news of Randy’s death. When we lived in Poland, Randy and Cheri were the kind of friends you could always call for help or stop in. We ate together. Laughed together. Raised our kids together. They were great friends.
We called Cheri to express our condolences and to let her know we would pray for her. In our conversation, she said, “You were the kind of friends we thought we would always stay in touch with.” Sadly we did not. Since that conversation I have asked myself over and over again, why did we not stay in touch? Here are a few things that have been rumbling around in my head.
When we returned from Poland, we were crushed by our “failure” to live and serve in Poland due to Brenda’s illness. We felt like failures. I know that is stinking thinking! But we did. I wonder if we disconnected from many of our friends in Poland because it hurt so much to think of the life we thought we were going to have as missionaries, serving God and others in Poland. The transition to America, my new job as a pastor at Eastern Hills, a new house, and kids in school was at times overwhelming. We then discovered that David was losing his vision. Two years later we discovered he had Batten Disease, and for the next thirteen years, we cared for him until his death. So while I continue to feel a little guilty and while I wished I could have been someone to encourage both Randy and Cheri in the last months of his life, I wasn’t able to.
Thankfully Cheri reached out, not allowing the years of silence and distance to stop her from connecting with us. While our hearts were broken by the news of Randy’s passing, they were also filled with a renewed and joyful connection with Cheri. One phone call, one act of bravery and boldness, and our relationship was rekindled! Thank you, Cheri!
I wonder how many people in our lives we have lost touch with, for whatever reason, that all it would require is one phone call like Cheri’s to rekindle a friendship? It may be a parent, an old neighbor, a past teacher or mentor, a pastor, rabbi, or priest, a therapist, a nurse or aid that cared for your child, a brother or sister. I wonder if you were bold enough, brave enough to make that phone call if your friendship and relationship could be rekindled. They already know you. At one time they communicated and showed they loved you. It sure does sound a whole lot easier and less time consuming than trying to develop a new friendship. These are the very people you need in your life. They can become your champions. They can remind you that you are not alone, that you are loved, that you are doing a great job as a mom or dad. So who can you call? Do it! Just one person! Be brave! Just Dial!
If you are a praying person please pray for our dear friend, Cheri. She misses her best friend deeply.