Are We Welcome At Church?

As many of you know, I was a pastor for 15 years. It was a role I cherished deeply, serving, caring for, and walking alongside people through their joys and struggles. Sadly, very often families with children with special needs or those struggling with a life threatning illness do not feel welcome or safe to bring their children to church.

Too many times, I’ve heard parents express their fears, the fear of judgment if their child gets loud or has a tantrum, the fear of not being understood when their child’s needs are different, or simply the fear of being a disruption. And then there are the practical challenges: many church buildings are simply not accessible for individuals with special needs. Add to this the overwhelming exhaustion that comes with caring for a child with extra needs, coupled with the social isolation that so often accompanies it—and it’s easy to understand why some parents choose to stay home rather than try to attend church.

This breaks my heart!

I came across a quote recently that truly captured the essence of what I believe the church should be:

“If the church is the hospital for the sick, and it is, then the church needs more room for people who are truly facing pain and sickness, people with lives that often contain total chaos.”

This quote resonated with me deeply because it speaks to the very core of what the church should be—a place of healing, refuge, and acceptance for all, including those facing challenges like disability or illness.

I love what Jesus said in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 14. He offered a radical shift in how we should think about welcoming others:

“When you give a luncheon or a banquet, do not invite your friends, brothers, relatives, or rich neighbors. If you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” — Luke 14:12-14 (NIV)

Did you hear that? Jesus specifically mentions those who are often overlooked, the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind—and says that inviting them in is not just a good deed, but a spiritual blessing that will be rewarded.

So, let me ask a question: why, then, are so many churches still unprepared to care for and serve families with children who have special needs or who are dealing with illness?

The church should be a place where everyone feels welcomed, loved, and included—no matter their struggles or circumstances. Unfortunately, far too often, families with special needs children feel invisible or excluded. It’s time for this to change!

Jesus calls us to reach out to those who can’t repay us—not because of what they can give us in return, but because of the love and compassion we show them. That’s the heart of the church. A church that welcomes the vulnerable and the hurting is a church that reflects Christ’s love in the most powerful way.

I would love to hear your thoughts.  What has been your experience?  Have you found a place of worship that has embraced you and your family?  What made it a safe place for you and your family?  If you could sit down with a pastor or priest, what would you tell them would help you feel more welcome?  What could a place of worship do to help you not feel invisable?  I would really love to hear your honost thoughts.

Here is a great article written by a mom with a child who struggles with autism explaining her struggle with faith and church attendance.  I hope you take a moment to read it: On Religion: A Mother’s Journey With Autism And Faith